How to Tell if Your Mobile Home is Haunted

1.	A can of Skoal mysteriously floats through the air.
2.	Blood drips out of your simulated wood paneling.
3.	The eyes on the velvet Elvis painting move.
4.	The room is spinning, and you’re not even drunk yet.
5.	That car in your front yard isn’t on blocks -- it's levitating by itself.
6.	Your dog, Bo, gets sucked into the TV set, and he's blocking your view of rasslin'.
7.	That mysterious scratching below the floorboards? The Telltale Raccoon.
8.	The chain the ghost rattles is attached to his wallet.
9.	You feel an eerie presence every time "Freebird" plays on the radio.
10.	The trailer is shaking, but there’s no tornado in sight.

More Warning Signs...

11.	Your Dale Earndhart bed sheets have eyeholes cut in them.
12.	The ghost is completely invisible except for the tobacco juice running down his chin.
13.	Mysterious footsteps seem to be stomping out “Achy Breaky Heart.”
14.	There's a funny howlin' noise comin' from the corn crib--no wait that's Jimmy.
15.	You hear strange moaning—but only during Shania Twain videos.
16.	You're missing four PBR's, and the missus only drinks Old Milwaukee.
17.	The lights turn on and off even though you paid the power bill.
18.	You hear blood-curdling screams, but both neighbors are still in jail.
19.	You get a mysterious phone call that says, "I know what you did last NASCAR race."
20.	Instead of saying "boo" the ghost says "boo-ya'll!"
21.	The veneer of window grime looks just like Calvin... and he's peeing on YOU!!
22.	Instead of naked women, your playing cards, all of a sudden, have pictures of covered bridges on them.
23.	The folks on Jenny Jones discuss domestic problems that eerily resemble your own.
24.	You get a creepy feelin' and it ain't because Richard Simmons is on TV.
25.	You come home one day and it's clean.
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